Tuesday, December 15, 2009

my best friend`s racism...

This morning I woke up to a rather urgent message from my best friend, B, telling me to check a note her boyfriend T has written on Facebook.

The context of the note is this...apparently for a month B has been on the receiving end of some blatantly racist words and video in regards to her being in an interracial relationship. This has led to the letter you will read below, as well as porn being sent to her. I would like to precede this letter with a few facts.

T is a very successful African-American male (with mixed Black and White origins) artist in Detroit.

B is White. She is also a Harvard and Columbia graduate, MacArthur Fellowship scholar, Doctor Beyond Borders, surgeon, teacher, single-mother, cancer survivor, and under thirty years old.
She also happens to be my hero. B also has a flawless way of accomplishing this while preferring to rock tossed hair, high boots, and short skirts.

She has traveled to every single place I ever wanted to visit on Earth, probably twice, and with the mission of bringing food and medical care to those who die from even the most mundane of diseases, from lack of water and food. This includes Africa, which only adds to the irony of this woman`s letter.

Keep that in mind when reading this below, and when considering the questions I pose after it.

This is an excerpt taken from the attention T has put in regards to this situation:

`Without further ado, here is the message sent to my girlfriend today from "Armani Afrika", in all its graphic and hateful glory:

I don't know if you remember me but i remember you. I've struggled back and forth as whether to contact you or not. After much discussion among my community of friends we discovered our equal concern. Also, let me say I know that some of the other women involved in this discussion have contacted you in the past and sent you some very messages and videos. Know that I had nothing to do with that. Though I may agree with the sentiments, as a woman I was horrified. Detroit is a very small community with a tight knit art scene. TB is somewhat of a fixture on that scene and is admired by many of the younger up and comers. Here in lies my problem. He has a responsibility to end the white girl trophy myth. A successful black man should be with a successful black woman, not a ditzy little white girl who has to flaunt her body to feel important, rather then educate herself and take back her pride. As a black woman I understand your attraction to T, but it has become clear to us that you two seem to be in a somewhat serious relationship. Having you on his arm around town is starting to isolate him from certain parts of his community. I understand that he is a young attractive man who mistakenly finds the novelty in playing with a little barbie doll, but know that he deserves a true queen on his arm, not some little ballerina girl. I know what youre thinking. It doesn't matter, love is blind, yada yada. Well, let me tell you something in this city it does matter. I know you probably think his kinky hair is so exotic or who knows maybe you think it'sghetto and that gets you going. But what do you really know about it with your vanilla party girl hair? You think it's dangerous when you wrap your legs around him and welcome his black cock inside you. Do you understand that everytime he takes you to his bed he is essentially telling the world that he hates himself as a black man? Lastly, let me just appeal to you on an equal level. I see you have a son. To be clear, T will never commit himself to you. You are a shiny toy who will fade over time. Do you really want that for your son? I'm assuming his father tired of you too. Take my advice and take the time while your still young to feed your mind and make something more of yourself. Plan for your future. What will you do when you can't dance anymore and your pussy is all torn up? No man, black or white will want you then.... If you have any real feeling for T. Do what's best and stay away from him. Again, you have been warned. Peace.

Dear "Armani Afrika",
My girlfriend rocks; you Suck.

Best Regards,
T B`

Why, in the final weeks of 2009, are we still going through this?
In the comments section, I will post the initial reaction I had to this post, but I felt the pure racist nature of this needed more concentrated attention.

I will say, personally, identifying as African-America, yet having an entire side of my family being of Italian, Irish, and German origin, in regards to relationships I`ve experienced a great amount more racism from other `sistas` than I have ever from White women, or Asian women, or Spanish women.

There is a sense of hate that lingers extensively under this situation. I don`t mean hate in regards to the opposite of love, but hate as in bringing negativity to the positivity in someone else`s life.



Frankie Nichelle said...

.......W O W.

I am embarrassed for the chick who wrote this letter. I'm not embarrassed for African American women though. She doesn't represent us or our views, especially not mine. Her opinions are disgusting and ignorant. How can she even refer to herself as a woman?

Though I may agree with the sentiments, as a woman I was horrified.

How can you agree with the sentiments and still be horrified? She's just as bad as the other women. That's like saying, I agree that a cross should be burned on your lawn, but I'm horrified that someone actually did it.

It's 2009....almost 2010, and this is STILL going on? REALLY??? MY people...the same ones who want to be treated as equals, and the same ones who cry racism at every turn............*throws hands up in disgust*

This chick is really the last person on earth (behind crackheads, out of control teens and Cookie Monster) who should be giving advice to ANYONE about ANYTHING. I sincerely hope that their relationship continues to grow vigorously.

Miss S. said...

I know so well that the racism is still going on this world. As much as things evolve, most people are still closed minded. It's a shame. I, for one, have been in inter-racial relationships and it had nothing to do with the color of the skin. The heart wants what the heart wants and I never understood and will never understand why it should even be a public affair. As long as two people involve are happy, there should not be any issues to anyone else.

I am glad your girl B is a strong woman and T is a strong man. People like "Armani Afrika" will exist in many years to come and the important part is to be able to ignore them and DO YOU! I think it's part of a racism and a jealousy thing.

As for you, Evie, I admire you for the courage and doing things that you love out there. Good luck and happy holidays to you and your loved ones...

Nik said...

How very ignorant and insecure of "Armani Afrika" to say such things. She has absolutely no valid point and the relationship between these people aren't affecting her in any way.

As a Black woman, I'd like to say she does not represent all of us with her twisted beliefs.

RoByn LaTice said...

Wow. Im shocked at her sending this to B. Im outraged actually. She is completly in the wrong and to seriously come at B like that? Seriously? Stuff like this makes me sooooo mad! I hate seeing how very much alive racism is...and I HATE seeing it from "sistas"! As a woman Armani Afrika should have kept her thoughts to herself!

evierobbie. said...

Ladies, I share your sentiments, and I thank you for responding. The same day I posted this here, I also posted it on my Facebook account (to which B also replied) and it got about 45 comments within a 24 hour period.

My initial reaction was one in which if there wasn't so much deep-rooted ignorance involved, I would have been more upset than I was initially.
Racism/reverse-racism..whatever. It is what it is. This situation is disgusting and B is less pissed about the letters she has gotten, and more so focused on the apparent rape porn that they have been sending her.

In every way, this woman has threatened her. The audacity to bring her child into it. A child that in elementary school, is so multi-faceted and multi-lingual, that he could tell her to fuck off in four different languages.

As Black women, we have to stop this. Something I also brought up and would like to explore is that as a Black women of mixed origin (and lighter complexion) I too have been through this on smaller scales?

Is this residual from the brown paper bag theory?

As women, can we empower each other, rather then breed jealousy amongst each other ESPECIALLY in the Black community..?